I have sat down to write this blog a million times. Come up with all the excuses in the book. “I’m too busy.” “No one is really reading anyways.” “My site doesn’t look pretty enough.” “I should clean the toilets instead.”
Kidding. I didn’t do that last one…
But I am here. I am writing. I am sharing.
You see I got sucked into my old habits really quickly. Perfectionism. Comparison. You know. All the good stuff.
I have realized something about myself though. Fear. Yesterday while listening to a mentor call with Tiffany Peterson (if you don’t follow her and you’re a woman in business, go. Follow now.) and she said something that punched me right in my throat. “Perfectionism is just fear dressed in haute couture.” AKA perfectionism is just fear dressed in pretty clothes. Um. Yes.
I have always been a perfectionist, OR a total slacker. The old trick of “Well, I failed because I didn’t try hard. If I would’ve tried, I’d be a success.” In high school it played out more along the lines of “Well, I didn’t make an A because I didn’t study.” Basically, if I don’t try it’s ok to fail. But can you imagine if I put my whole heart and effort into something and STILL FAILED?! The HORROR.
So, it’s easier not to try at all right? Or quit before the failure happens. I wanted to blog to be PERFECT. Comparing myself to girls who had been blogging for YEARS. Wanted my links to look perfect. Wanted my page to look perfect. Perfectionism at its finest.
I also got a little (okay… a lot) hung up on whether or not I could make money blogging. Once you start a blog you start getting all these emails about how to monetize the blog. As a stay at home mom, I always want to feel like I am somehow contributing to our family (because raising two, tiny humans, cooking dinner, doing laundry, learning to sell essential oils, and helping on the back end of my husband’s company obviously isn’t contributing enough.)
But that’s not why I started writing in the first place. I want to create a community of moms. Moms who don’t feel the need to sugar coat things. Moms who want to read about someone with similar struggles. Being a mom can be so isolating, even with playdates, work, coffee dates etc. In those hard moments it’s pretty easy to feel like no one else understands what you’re going through. It’s pretty easy to let that mom guilt creep in.
“I’m not enough.”
“Other moms probably like their kids 100% of the time.” (But let’s be real, sometimes toddlers are assholes.)
“Her blog probably pays their mortgage.”
“She always looks so put together. How?”
“Damn. She dropped that baby weight pretty fast.”
“My house is ALWAYS a mess. What the hell did I even do with my day?”
“Oh good, thank you family for filling up that laundry basket already. It was getting cold.”
“My child watches too much TV.”
And on, and on, and on. Sound familiar?
So let’s work together to stop all that. It’s not worth it. It’s so freaking defeating. So exhausting. Perfect is not the goal.
Self-talk matters friends. (We’re friends right?)
Let’s try these thoughts out:
“Man. My kids are DAMN cute.”
“Oh good, a whole load of laundry. Done. Folded. Put away. BOOM. Supermom.”
“I am enough.”
“Writing a blog is good for my soul. Other moms need to hear this stuff too. Regardless of money.”
“My body grew a human. Two humans. UN-FREAKING-BELIEVABLE.”
So, I guess all that to say. I’m back. Back to writing. Back to sharing my triumphs and failures with you. Back to believing in myself.
We gotta stick together mamas. This shit is hard.
See you all next week.